Ouch Chrono - Carnage Skirmish (2000-06-01)
Chrono - Carnage Skirmish
June 1, 2000
|Sent in by Kim
Walton from Spain
Edited by RedWolf
I would like to comment on the [Bite The Bullet] issue about the can-made
like to let everyone know that here in Spain we have developed the best home
made chronograph. I am also sorry to say that it is better even than the
real thing. Let me explain...
There is not that much softair action here so if on a day to day basis we
want to skirmish, a maximum of four of us go to the woods and play our famous
"carnage skirmish". Carnage skirmish consists of playing with goggles, a gas
gun or AEG and [usually] short sleeved T-shirts. Basically the difference is
that you [are] not dead when you say "hit", [but] you are dead
when you are in so much pain that your opponent
decides not to shoot you any more (which normally occurs when he has
emptied his clip). Being like this you can probably imagine that gun fights
take place at 3 or 4 meters the at most so it hurts...although after 15
shots or so you donīt feel the pain anymore. Anyways we have developed a system
to measure the Fps that BB's travel at as well as the traveled distance [by
using] a shot-to-cry mathematical ratio as well as a measure of the intensity
and length of the cry.
So if for example you shoot and 0.1 seconds
after you hear "aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrggggggggghhhhhh!" it means
that he is half a meter away, the BB traveled at 346 Fps and that if you hit
him directly on the skin - he is probably bleeding. Once [you understand the
logic behind this] system, please find as follows a brief explanation
of the named shots (you will understand when you read it) followed by a
Named shots is a trade mark of "The crying game" and any illegal
reproduction will be punished by entering the violator into the crying game
(carnage skirmish jam sessions).
|| 5 mts
|| It is a
shot on the forehead. The affected area is swollen to a size that it looks like
a horn is growing on your head. (Tried it).
Enrique Iglesias shot
It is a shot 2 cm below the glasses and 1cm to the side of the nose. The coagulated blood
of the affected area looks like Iglesiasīs wart.
|Big Genital Shot
|| No comments.
Extremely painful. Ask my friend...or ex-friend (Done it).
||3 - 4 meters
|| You get shot
everywere. There are so many affected areas that it looks like the skin is falling of. (Done it and
|I Quit Shot
|| It is a
shot in the chest. The affected person is a crybaby and wants to go to mama.
| Crybaby carnage shot
|| Every body empties their clip on the crybaby
(happens after the I quit shot). The affected corpse goes to mama in a bag (Done
For your quick reference, here is how you can
tell what you're dealing with:
||What it means
|| Victim thinks -
"Iīm not doing this Rambo stuff any more!"
|| Victim thinks -
"Yesss I want more!"
|!X@$%! [edited out
Victim decides to spend all his money on a bigger gun for vengeance.
| 2 SECOND SILENCE
followed by AAAAAAAARRGGGH!
Some body has managed to slip a lead pellet gun into the game
I hope you enjoyed this. And remember all this is a joke, we are not that crazy here...or maybe we are?
Best regards and keep up the great work
Berserk Snoopy, Spain
Here in Asia, some seasoned airsoft enthusiasts
enter into similar skirmish matches that are called "Power"
skirmishes. Typical weaponry include AEGs that are modified in excess
of 450fps and sometimes even 500fps. High capacity magazines are a
must and most undergo some home surgery whereby winding up of the magazine
is performed via a motorized mechanism or by way of a lever much like
reeling in a fish on a fishing rod. Needless to say, "Power"
skirmishes are not for the weak and rules dictate that participants only
wear a single layer of camouflage clothing. Tactical vests are not
allowed. You can often identify "Power" players by their
scarred skin, often most prominent on their forearms.
"Power" players aim to defy pain for as long as possible until it
becomes so unbearable that they raise their guns to declare themselves dead,
exactly as described above in Berserk Snoopy above.
We at RedWolf never
understood the appeal of "Power" plays but there remains a large
following in the airsoft world. As long as you play with friends, this
might be bearable. We've heard many horror stories of real violence as
opposing parties get a little too serious about it and end up exchanging
fists instead of BBs. Thanks to Berserk Snoopy though for submitting
this story as it illustrates a different way of skirmishing that some of you
may not have been exposed to!